I have been writing on this blog for 8 years and I am trying to decide whether to move on or not. I will leave the blog up because there are so many posts that might help people, but as far as continuing to write on it.. I am not sure. My whole life has changed dramatically and maybe I need to start a new blog.. I am not even sure if anyone still reads this.. but I know I have enjoyed writing here.. This season is so challenging that lots of my time is spent wondering how to support my husband and myself.. I need to take care of myself so I can be there for him and that is a journey in itself.. Care giving is very draining and I have done so much of it that I wonder how much more I can do.. but with God all things are possible!
So if you do happen to read this, please pray for me as I ask the Lord to lead me and give me wisdom.. I am such a loyal person that it seems very hard to give this up.. maybe it is just time to write more honestly about my journey and help those who are also struggling to follow the Lord while experiencing heartbreak…Time will tell.
If you have any thoughts that you would like to share with me.. now is the time! Feel free to post your comments.
Today is the second day of September and we are having a big heat wave here in the bay area. I know it has happened before, but it is rare for us to get temperatures over 100 all over the area. We are spoiled because of the temperate climate here.. very few extremes. It is easy to be comfortable in this area since our lifestyle allows us to see so much beauty and we rarely face disasters like they are facing right now in Texas. The flooding we have been watching all week is a reminder that things can change in an instant. No matter how much we try to be in control of our lives, we are not able to predict the future. It seems to me that the Lord continues to remind us of His sovereignty through natural disasters and personal tragedies.
More and more of my conversations seem to center around trials and tests that people are facing. Even here in our county.. things are changing. With so many people moving to the bay area over the last 10 years.. our highways are crowded and there is litter everywhere. Our quiet protected area is not so quiet or protected. People are struggling here with finances, health, and family problems. In order to live here.. there are not enough jobs and the housing situation is unbelievable.. who can afford to be here? I know we can’t.. but God has us here and He continues to confirm that. Our family is here and we support one another. My husband has lived here since he was born and I have been in this area for 50 years.. Yes we are getting older every day:) Many of our friends are gone, they have either moved away or passed away.. it is a bit lonely at times. Aging is challenging in a youth oriented culture and unfortunately the church is the same way. We have found ourselves feeling left behind and in some cases cast aside.
The good news is that these experiences do not define us. Our identity is in the Lord and He continues to affirm our worth and value. Because of the challenges we face.. I am more confident that it is not what I do, or who I know or what people think that defines me. I am His and that is what matters. Our circumstances continually change.. tomorrow it could be snowing here and Texas may experience a heat wave that dries up the land quickly. Tomorrow could bring a scary diagnosis for us or someone we love.. or tomorrow someone may be healed right in front of us.. reminding us of who is in control.. every day.. every single hour. We are not alone or forgotten..we are never abandoned or cast off. He remembers us.. comforts us.. holds us as we lean into Him in these times.
Father.. I pray for everyone reading this that they may experience more of you as this day unfolds. I pray for your spirit to be poured out on us as we cling to you in these trying times. We long to draw closer to your heart.. teach us how to do that.. protect us and guide us each day as we trust you.
I love this time of year.. after a long rainy winter, we are finally getting some beautiful weather and the first signs of spring are here. All my potted plants are showing signs of life.. it is always a surprise when I see that they survived so much rain and I never managed to transplant them.. yet they are coming back again. Their conditions are less than ideal.. but they persevere..reminds me of our lives.
We live in less than ideal circumstances.. yet every spring we can look ahead with hope and trust that the Lord has new things for us in this season. The hardships of winter may have beaten us down.. but there are signs of new growth.. signs of life. I don’t know about you.. but I need to have hope for the future.. to believe that there are going to be surprises.. things that God is going to do that I never expected..I try to make a point of noticing those things when they happen.. even if they are very small things.. like my rose bushes looking exceptionally healthy this year.. almost ready to bloom.. a precious gift from God.
Easter is coming in two weeks.. a time of celebration.. rejoicing in what the Lord has done for us. We have this time to begin to savor each day and to be thankful for this life.. to pray and ask for restoration and healing.. to seek a greater glimpse of His goodness. This is a special time and I don’t want to waste it looking back at the disappointments..the desire of my heart is to experience the abundant life of John 10:10 every single day in the midst of the challenges and trials.. He is always with us and always pouring out His love into our hearts.. time to drink deeply of the Living Water.. to fill up so we can pour out that love to others.. Let it be so Lord!
I believe that this is always true of God. He is always doing a new thing and never runs out of ideas:) The problem is that at times we get stuck. We may feel as though nothing new can ever happen or that we are forgotten or possibly we believe that the past is being repeated in the present. Nothing could be further from the truth.
Spring is the time when we are reminded of this. Every year new things spring up from the ground.. trees are suddenly filled with lush green leaves. The light coming in the window is at a new angle. The old brown leaves that covered the ground are gone..suddenly replaced by lush green meadows and the tiny blossoms of wildflowers. The earth is being renewed by its Creator God. He has taken out his paintbrush and painted the most beautiful watercolor we have ever seen.. it takes our breath away.
Every spring I am surprised by the Lord..totally amazed at His creativity.. so inspiring. His personal reminder that He is at work in our world and that He is doing a new thing around us and of course in us.
“For I am about to do something new. See, I have already begun! Do you not see it? I will make a pathway through the wilderness. I will create rivers in the dry wasteland.” (Isaiah 43:19)
The past month has been full of surprising changes and I expect that to continue throughout the summer. There are seasons of life when it seems as though our feet are in quicksand. We pray and wait and wonder..looking far out into the distance.. asking God ” what exactly do you have in mind?” He remains silent. The silence is deafening.. and still we wait.. we pray and we lean forward hoping to hear something.. anything.. a glimpse? Suddenly God speaks ” Trust me.” That’s it? Really?
So we do. After enough time ( only He knows what that means!) God moves. He surprises us with ideas that we know cannot come from anywhere but the heart of God. Things begin to change and we feel our world start to shake.. Whoa! Are you sure God? I know, I know, I asked you to do something, to do anything.. Just surprise me. I said that? What was I thinking?
Are we safe? Yes. Is it always easy? No. Is He with us? Yes. We are being led down the path of life by our Great God and our lives belong to Him. He has carved out a path that is perfect for us and He is ahead of us on that road. He has cleared the way..prepared everything perfectly for such a time as this. So put on your seat belt because this is a summer of surprises!
“Look, I am about to do something new; even now it is coming. Do you not see it? Indeed, I will make a way in the wilderness, riversin the desert.” Isaiah 43:19
to be in His presence..the same way we are. Today as I was walking through the valley I suddenly saw everything around me in a new light. As I looked at the trees and plants.. I saw them reaching up to the Lord. It was as though they were showing me that they long for more in the same way we do. It was a surprising experience.
I love nature and try to get out into it as often as possible..I appreciate the beauty that lies just outside my front door..particularly when Spring begins to show its face in the flowers and lush green leaves of the trees. It is easy for me to remember that God created all of this .. it is a gift He gives us every day. Today was different because I could sense the longing of creation for its Creator. God seemed to be saying that as we long for Him and reach for Him in that same way, He will bring growth to us and we will bear fruit for Him.
I saw this picture of how all creation, including us, waits for the day when all is as it should be. Even the plants and trees will be their perfect selves..everything will be made whole and beautiful. We live with this desire throughout our lives here and God wants us to live as fully as possible each and every day. But the truth is we will not experience life fully until that day when His work of redemption is complete.
I can live with that..knowing that He is working and bringing to completion everything and that someday the perfect world that we long for will be ours!
“Let’s hear it from Sky, With Earth joining in, And a huge round of applause from Sea.
Let Wilderness turn cartwheels, Animals, come dance, Put every tree of the forest in the choir—
An extravaganza before God as he comes, As he comes to set everything right on earth, Set everything right, treat everyone fair.” ( psalm 96:11-13)
I love them. The colors..the surprise every time one shoots up in the air an..that moment when as you wait for it to explode. If you are in a crowd..you can hear the sighs and feel the wonder all around you. Fireworks help us celebrate..prompt us to look up..take our breath away..renew our weary spirits.
God does all these things too..and not just on the 4th of July. He loves celebrations.. He rejoices with us when we find ways to enjoy life. When we lift our eyes waiting expectantly for Him to show up.. He is delighted with us. Every night the sky is flooded with stars that He made. Some evenings we can catch a glimpse of the beauty of the full moon. Nature is His handiwork. The coast of our beautiful state is one breathtaking view after another. The wildflowers are a sea of incredible shapes and colors. What a creative genius He is!
Yes I love fireworks..but even without them there are surprises and beauty everywhere. Find a way to enjoy this day..let Him renew your spirit and lift you above your circumstances..you deserve it!
“This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”