Memories

 

Remembering is such an important aspect of our faith. We remember all that the Lord has done for us.. He remembers us.. our needs, desires.. everything about us.

I have lots of time on my hands these days since my only job is to help my husband in the ways that he needs it.. The condition he has affects his memory and that impacts our relationship as well.. I want him to remember things that he has forgotten and he remembers some things that I can’t remember because we were not together until later in life. With this extra time.. I can reflect on how all of this is impacting me.

I understand that his forgetting is a big deal for me.. it seems like we base so much of our life together on the good times we have shared.. Fortunately he still remembers lots of those times.. but I know that could change. Today as I was getting lunch ready I thought about this and realized that the Lord has all those memories and even if we forget things.. God does not and someday we will be together with Him and all the memories will be returned to us.  We will be restored and nothing will be missing.

One thing that my husband is not forgetting is the Lord and how important He is to us. He won’t lose that knowledge because he has the Spirit of God in him.. we can pray together even if he forgets many words..we can reminisce about how God has always been there for us even if the details are foggy.. Our God is very much in our midst and He will stay with us through whatever the future holds.

My job besides the care giving is to remember the goodness of God above all else. To dwell on all the ways He has come for me when I thought everything was lost.. to know that nothing that is happening behind His back.. He knows and He sees and He will direct our steps in this season.

“I will remember the deeds of the Lord;
 yes, I will remember your wonders of old.
I will ponder all your work,
and meditate on your mighty deeds.”       ( psalm 77:11-12)

The hidden places..

This is a post from a year ago.. it seems to be the topic that God has been focusing on in my life .. it relates to the last post so I thought I would publish it again.. 

 

We have these places in our lives. They are like closets full of things that we don’t want to look at too closely. The truth is they are not hidden from the Lord. He sees and knows all the things we are keeping from Him and from ourselves. This closet may hold secret sins and idols.. but it also holds pain. Pain that we put in the back under everything. Why? So we don’t have to grieve and face the losses that happen in life. So when God goes into that closet and begins to pull out things.. He has only one purpose in mind and that is healing. How do I know that.. because I have experienced healing from His hand over and over again.

He wants to bring us into freedom. To touch our wounds and heal them. To bring out the poison.. the toxins that have developed because the wound is old and is covered with band aids that are filthy.. underneath there is an infection.. His desire is to clean the wound and heal it so that it is finally unable to keep us in bondage. Why do we resist this process? because it is painful. It order to receive this healing you need to open up and feel the pain that is stuffed down inside. It is not as though you have to relive it is.. but there is pain in remembering and releasing grief that is unresolved. The beautiful thing is realizing that God can take this process and change you.. He can ” create a clean heart” in you.

I am writing about this because I am concerned about Believers who run from this process. They hide their pain deeper and deeper because they are either embarrassed, ashamed or fearful. We are here on earth for a reason..not just waiting for the day when all this over. Eternity is here now.. we have entered the kingdom of God and He is at work restoring us. We need to let Him in fully if we want to begin experiencing the abundant life He promises in John 10:10.

Our God is pursuing us daily. He desires to go deep with you.. to take you to your hidden places and help you bring them out into the light so you can be set free to walk with Him without always looking back and without fear of the future. I want to encourage you to allow Him to come into those places.. if you are unable to do it alone, find someone to help you.. there is nothing wrong with needing help. The Holy Spirit is the counselor and He leads the way when it comes to unraveling your past and unveiling those wounds.. but He often works through counselors..especially those that walk with Him. Pray that the Lord will lead you to the right person and take a risk.. you won’t be sorry. He has only good things for you!

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free” (Luke 4:18)

The hidden places..

 

We have these places in our lives. They are like closets full of things that we don’t want to look at too closely. The truth is they are not hidden from the Lord. He sees and knows all the things we are keeping from Him and from ourselves. This closet may hold secret sins and idols.. but it also holds pain. Pain that we put in the back under everything. Why? So we don’t have to grieve and face the losses that happen in life. So when God goes into that closet and begins to pull out things.. He has only one purpose in mind and that is healing. How do I know that.. because I have experienced healing from His hand over and over again.

He wants to bring us into freedom. To touch our wounds and heal them. To bring out the poison.. the toxins that have developed because the wound is old and is covered with band aids that are filthy.. underneath there is an infection.. His desire is to clean the wound and heal it so that it is finally unable to keep us in bondage. Why do we resist this process? because it is painful. It order to receive this healing you need to open up and feel the pain that is stuffed down inside. It is not as though you have to relive it is.. but there is pain in remembering and releasing grief that is unresolved. The beautiful thing is realizing that God can take this process and change you.. He can ” create a clean heart” in you.

I am writing about this because I am concerned about Believers who run from this process. They hide their pain deeper and deeper because they are either embarrassed, ashamed or fearful. We are here on earth for a reason..not just waiting for the day when all this over. Eternity is here now.. we have entered the kingdom of God and He is at work restoring us. We need to let Him in fully if we want to begin experiencing the abundant life He promises in John 10:10.

Our God is pursuing us daily. He desires to go deep with you.. to take you to your hidden places and help you bring them out into the light so you can be set free to walk with Him without always looking back and without fear of the future. I want to encourage you to allow Him to come into those places.. if you are unable to do it alone, find someone to help you.. there is nothing wrong with needing help. The Holy Spirit is the counselor and He leads the way when it comes to unraveling your past and unveiling those wounds.. but He often works through counselors..especially those that walk with Him. Pray that the Lord will lead you to the right person and take a risk.. you won’t be sorry. He has only good things for you!

“The Spirit of the LORD is upon me, for he has anointed me to bring Good News to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim that captives will be released, that the blind will see, that the oppressed will be set free” (Luke 4:18)

He longs to be gracious to you..

This afternoon I came across this post from a year ago today on Facebook. I read it and thought.. that is amazing it is more true for me now than it was then and I actually understand why I wrote in a much deeper way. So.. I thought I would post it again and share it with you.. the scripture on the bottom is the same one God gave me this morning. The post is titled ” God waits for us”

Throughout the years that I have been writing on this blog.. the theme of waiting has emerged over and over again. Waiting is difficult and we struggle with it as we move through this life. This morning I sensed the Lord showing me that He waits for us more than we realize.

Since He has a plan for our lives that is better than anything we could dream up or imagine..He has to wait for us to be willing to follow Him. We have our own plans and dreams and it is difficult for us to surrender those to Him. After all.. our plans will bring us happiness and security. We imagine ourselves with the things that will fulfill us and take away the emptiness. God is after more than that.

He imagines us whole and filled with joy.. He sees us as complete and fulfilled in Him. We look everywhere else..afraid that He is not going to be there for us.. that He may fail us or forget us. He waits patiently as we try to make our dreams come true. He watches us and cares for us as we resist His plan. He allows us to suffer and struggle.. knowing that eventually we will turn to Him.

He sees us.. He knows us.. He is with us and He is for us. We are His. He is the good shepherd who tenderly cares for each of his sheep. He seeks us when we are lost and cares for us when we are wounded. He waits for us to follow Him to safety. He leads us to green pastures and still waters. His love for us is unfailing and everlasting. He pursues us..holding out His Hands and asking us to trust Him in all things.. will we trust Him with hearts? Will we follow Him when the path is not clear.. and all we can see is the next step? He is waiting..

“And therefore will the LORD wait, that he may be gracious unto you…” ( Isaiah 30:18 KJV)

“Jesus was making the sad things come untrue”

 

This is a line from a story in the Jesus Storybook Bible.. a book that was read to the children every Sunday during our worship service. Yesterday at church, our pastor said that those stories from that book were the first sermon and his preaching was the second sermon. He quoted that line from the book ” He was making the sad things come untrue“.. I love that ! It makes me smile to think of everything sad becoming untrue as the kingdom of God moves ahead. What an amazing promise He has given us.

The same thing is happening here every single day.. sometimes we see it and sometimes we don’t. The truth is the truth whether we are able to see it or not. God’s invisible kingdom is real.. more real than all the sad things that happen on this earth every single day. His kingdom is more real than every single problem we face.. even the ones that seem unbearable. His kingdom is more real than our feelings, our thoughts, or our ideas. What an amazing realization that is.. if only we could hang on to that picture. There is another story.. a larger story that surrounds us and God is the author. He has written it for us and He is with us in that story.. guiding us, protecting us, comforting us, and encouraging us. We are not alone in what seems to be our small sad story.

As I am writing this I feel like I want to grab on to that big story.. to live in it fully.. to have a larger role.. to enter the Kingdom of God in a deeper way.. following Him fully.. trusting Him totally.. even when I have no answers.. even when I am hurting.. lost and sad. I want to be a part of His great work in this world as He redeems everything that was lost.  I believe He is asking us all to enter in.. to seek Him and His ways.. to believe that He is totally in control.. when all we see is an out of control world … As we live in these times.. we are in the world that He entered.. something has already happened.. but there is more.. we are between the already and the not yet.. living in that very unsettled place.. He is our rock and our safe place.. there is no other.

He told us to ” Seek Him and His kingdom and all else would be added on to us” He meant it then and He means it now..

One day the Pharisees asked Jesus, “When will the Kingdom of God come?”

Jesus replied, “The Kingdom of God can’t be detected by visible signs. You won’t be able to say, ‘Here it is!’ or ‘It’s over there!’ For the Kingdom of God is already among you.^“

 

Remembering the important things..

 Remembering the important things…I consider it an essential part of the life of a Believer. It is related to reflecting but more intentional.. When I am feeling insecure and fearful there is nothing that helps me more than remembering the goodness of God. We all have history with Him. If we sit down and allow ourselves to look back on all the times He has rescued us.. all the ways He has surprised us.. all the important moments in life when suddenly God was present with us.. in trials and in joyful times. Lately I have been taking the time to remember.. probably because yesterday was the 15th anniversary of the day I met my husband. I often tell the story of how it happened.. people enjoy hearing it and I love telling it. It is a reminder of how God orchestrates things perfectly and how He has a plan unfolding.

In reality we can never know the future.. but sometimes we are able to plan and look ahead.. other times we cannot make plans and looking ahead can feel like falling off the edge of a cliff.  These are times to reflect on the past.. remember when you felt like you could not go another step? You made it through and even though it seemed impossible you are here and life continues to unfold one day at a time. God’s faithfulness shines through as we step back and look at the bigger picture of our lives. He was present with us at every critical juncture.. He has stepped in repeatedly to save us from harm .. we may not even be aware of His protection over our lives.. He picks up the pieces and makes beautiful things that are beyond our wildest imagination. I have seen this in my life and I know He is at work in yours doing the exact same thing.

Do you have some time to be still.. to remember? I hope so because life is too short to just keep pushing forward. We need to stop and reflect.. to find a quiet place to look at all He has done and to be encouraged that He has not changed and He will continue to come for us and be in the midst of all the hard things we may be facing.  God’s love for us is our safe haven in these times.. we need to take refuge in Him.. knowing that He will never fail us.

 

For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs. (Zephaniah 3:17)

 

The last stretch..

It is already December 3rd and Thanksgiving is behind us. Isn’t it amazing how fast time goes as the year comes to an end? It happens every year, but each time I am taken by surprise. We are definitely in the last stretch. This year was full of challenges and surprises..some wonderful, some painful.

I have to laugh as I look at the title of this post..the last stretch. I was thinking about how we are on that last part of the road.. finishing the year and looking ahead to another new beginning. Looking again it seems to mean that it is God’s last chance to really stretch me beyond my comfort zone for 2013.

Yes..2013 was the year that stretched me way beyond anything I might have imagined. What I mean is God has been at work in the deepest part of my character..teaching me to trust Him in some pretty dark moments. Asking me to believe when His presence was impossible to find. Continuing to assure me of His love when my feelings were not in agreement. At the same time He has given me so much more than I could have ever asked or imagined.

I hope that you have time to revisit this year before it is over and take some type of inventory.. remembering all that has happened and how He has been with you through every bit of it.

The journey continues and we put our hands in His..trusting that He has great things in store for us as we commit our way to Him.

He has promised us so many things and here is one of my favorite passages from the Message.. Jeremiah 29:11

“This is God’s Word on the subject: “As soon as Babylon’s seventy years are up and not a day before, I’ll show up and take care of you as I promised and bring you back home. I know what I’m doing. I have it all planned out—plans to take care of you, not abandon you, plans to give you the future you hope for” 

A bumpy landing..

No.. I’m not referring to the plane ride back from Maui. My bumpy landing is the one that I had coming back into my life after our vacation. It felt so good to be in another story for 10 days.. it wasn’t a perfect story.. they never are. It was a new story.. an unpredictable story that was filled with new people, places, and things. In the vacation story, there is no concern about the future because every day brings beauty, surprises, and romance. I made a deliberate attempt to live fully through each day and took lots of pictures so the memories would stay fresh after we returned.

Once we were home I struggled with the same pressures and circumstances that I was able to leave behind. I think I expected everything to change dramatically (wishful thinking!) As I continue to make the adjustment.. .I’ve started to realize that I can either choose my own small story again or the larger story that God is unfolding. The small one is dark and negative..the larger story is hopeful and faith filled. This is a choice that we all face continually and one that I have written about repeatedly.

I write about it because we have an enemy who wants us to forget the goodness of God. He wants to steal the beauty and romance that God has for us whereve we are.  John Eldredge writes about this in the end of his book The Sacred Romance.  ” Remembering is not mere nostalgia; it is an act of survival, our way of watching over our hearts with diligence…When I consider all that is at stake in this journey I am on, how vulnerable are my heart and the hearts of those I love, how quickly I forget, I am moved to fall on my face and cry out to God for the grace to remember.”  What more can I say?..except that I landed safely in the arms of God.

” I am always with you; you hold me by my right hand. You guide me with your counsel, and afterword you will take me into glory..my flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”      Psalm 73

More on longing..

Everything I am reading this week seems to direct me back to the word “longing.” It reminds me of my childhood and the deep desire I had for God. He was not acknowledged in my home but I knew He was real. The culture was different..more people openly acknowledged God in a way that has disappeared. This only deepened my longing for Him. I never heard the gospel and had no idea how to connect with this God, but my heart was being drawn by movies, music, and Christmas trees, something was happening that I could never quite understand.

He was pursuing me and I was longing for Him..looking back I can see how He planted seeds in my heart throughout the 29 years without Him. Finally we were introduced and I was free to live life fully knowing He loved me and wanted this connection as much as I did. Over 30 years have passed since that time and I still long for more of Him. Advent may be the season of longing, but our entire lives can be filled with that same desire..that same sense of anticipation.. as we live knowing that He is with us and His kingdom is here now.

We cannot see Him, but His fingerprints are unmistakable. As we look back we see how He has appeared over and over again in our lives..there are rescues, interventions, and miracles we experience in our daily lives. We need eyes that see, ears that hear, and hearts that remember.

My prayer for you is that this season increases your desire to grow closer to Him.. to see His mighty hand at work in our world. We all need that hope that only He can give. Let’s ask Him to help us live in the “already” and the “not yet”..to embrace this season as He prepares us more fully for the next. Our hope is in Him as we wait for all those things that He has prepared for us.. both in this world and the next.

“I long, yes, I faint with longing to enter the courts of the Lord. With my whole being, body and soul, I will shout joyfully to the living God.”

 

 

Falling..into place

Have you ever felt like you were falling? What I mean is the feeling that you are not going to be able to keep standing under your current circumstances..it’s all just too much..you wonder..will I make it this time? How is this all going to work out? Everything seems out of control and uncertain. Do you know what I am writing about? I wish you were here so we could talk about this.. it is such an important topic.

Life is always throwing unexpected challenges our way. We suddenly find ourselves underwater. Which way is up? We are swimming and swimming hoping we can come to the top for air before it is too late. We grow weary..we are drained..worn out and discouraged. Our hearts are heavy and our spirits are sagging under the weight of it all. There are seasons like that for all of us and sometimes they happen right around the holidays..in fact they often seem to coincide with this time of the year.

Our culture says..be happy..spend money..pretend that everything is wonderful. Sometimes our churches do something similar. Rejoice..give thanks..God is good..Romans 8:28..we are supposed to embrace this season with the joy of the Lord. What if we really don’t feel that way right now? It is OK..in fact it’s more than OK.. it is often the most difficult time to rejoice. Grief comes to the surface during the holidays..old grief and new grief. Old wounds are opened by family gatherings. Unpleasant memories are triggered by familiar faces.

This season reminds us of those who are gone from our presence and won’t be celebrating with us. Every holiday can trigger those memories and bring a sweet sadness to the surface. It is the way God made us. He created us to feel deeply and to remember. So what are we supposed to do with all this? Take it all to Him..be honest..don’t cover up..ask for His help and don’t condemn yourself for being human. He is with you and He knows all this anyway..nothing is hidden from His sight.

Spend time in His presence and let Him open those old wounds..don’t be afraid to cry. Tears bring restoration and healing..He has great things for you..trust Him with your whole heart.

“Trust God from the bottom of your heart;
   don’t try to figure out everything on your own.
Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go;
   he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Don’t assume that you know it all.
   Run to God! Run from evil!
Your body will glow with health,
   your very bones will vibrate with life!
Honor God with everything you own;
   give him the first and the best.
Your barns will burst,
   your wine vats will brim over.
But don’t, dear friend, resent God’s discipline;
   don’t sulk under his loving correction.
It’s the child he loves that God corrects;
   a father’s delight is behind all this. ”