It has been a while since I wrote on my blog.. I began this blog in March of 2010. So here I am 12 years later living a life I could never have imagined. If you have been following me, you know that my life turned upside down in 2019 when my husband was hospitalized for early onset dementia and he went to be with Jesus in August of 2020.. during the pandemic.. I moved, gave away everything and eventually ended up where I am living now. On March 30th of 2020 I moved here.. that was our 18th wedding anniversary.. if he were here we would be celebrating our 20th anniversary in a few weeks.
My life started over … living alone for the first time.. widowed for the second time and now facing a very uncertain future. How long will I be here? What lies ahead? Is there another season for me? I was only 51 when I was widowed for the first time and it was clear that I would have another season.. in many ways it was the best part of my life.. My daughter married, I married again and the grandchildren were born. Now I am much older and the grandkids are almost grown.. It is more difficult to imagine that there is more in store for me.. yet at the same time, I am here and I could live much longer. My mother just turned 100 in November.. good genes.
The biggest challenge is living in the uncertainty daily. What is God up to ? Will He help me to find a new path.. a new direction.. a new purpose? Well.. He knows me and He shaped me so I believe He will do all these things and more.. but the waiting is difficult. I have never been a patient person.. it is hard to live without knowing. .Yet there is one thing I do know and that is that He is faithful and will never change.. I lost my husband, my job, my things, and even my health has been challenged, but I cannot lose the Lord… the losses are hard, the grief continues , but He seems more real and closer to me than ever before. He is with me, He is for me, He follows me, and He leads me as I trust Him.
The Bible verses on fear have helped me so much during this time.. here is one of my favorites.
“Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.” Isaiah 41:10
Do you face an uncertain future? Look to Him .. He will never fail you.
Thank You, Father God, for Alicia, for holding her close and lovingly walking with her each step of every day. You alone are our Certainty, thank You!
May you sense His presence today, Alicia!
Thank you Suz..He has been with me today ..reassuring me of His presence ..I am so thankful!