Why that question? Because it is the “the” question we have to ask ourselves every single day in one way or another. Is God sovereign…and is He good? Without resolving that we cannot keep following Him. In this season of my life I have to answer that question almost every day. ..as I see my husband deteriorating from a terrible disease. Could the Lord stop it? Of course . Is He going to ? No.
As I read the testimonies of those who walk away there seems to be something that ties them together. Something awful happens.. some tragedy that they cannot explain and suddenly it seems that God is not who He says He is. I understand their reaction. Why doesn’t He just do something to end the suffering? Do I have an easy answer ? No I don’t. The only answer for me.. is to know His sovereignty is real.. that His ways are not ours that His thoughts are not ours.
If I should decide that I know what God should do and He does not do it, then suddenly I am God and He is not. The only safe place for me as I lose Steve to dementia every single day is to put my hope in the goodness of God. To believe that He is for us and that somehow in a way I cannot comprehend He will bring good out of this. Honestly most of the time it is impossible to believe that except for His grace. The grace that is carrying me though each and every day.. every hour.. every minute of this impossible situation.
He is who He says He is and He will always chase after us with His goodness even when we try to run away and hide. He pursues us to pour our His relentless love into our hearts..
I am writing this with a heavy heart.. please pray for Steve and I.