..have been very difficult. During that time I lost my dad and my sister-in-law. My mother’s health began to deteriorate. She is still here.. but barely able to see and in a wheelchair. It’s hard to watch someone lose everything.. my parents were married for over 60 years. My dad’s death was like a hurricane in our family..tearing through the relationships that remained.. those relationships are starting to heal but the damage was great. My sister-in-law’s death was different..it seems as though it has brought us all closer..a sweet grief that is painful but not destructive. We learned lessons from her life and from her death..her memory always brings joy in the midst of our sorrow.
It is strange how different the grief experience can be and what remains at the end of it all. Loss triggers so many emotions and it seems to uncover the truth. I was in a relationship for 25 years.. my husband died in 1999. The last 12 years have revealed the truth of that time.. it has been like unraveling a huge ball of yarn. All my relationships were shattered when he died and I wondered if I would survive. Since it was a difficult marriage.. the grief was complex and draining. I cried out to God continually to make me whole again. He heard that cry and answered. He brought healing and His touch has enabled me to reach into the lives of others.
These five years were filled with other challenges.. job loss and disappointment for my husband.( I remarried in 2002) several moves..disappointment with churches..relational difficulties and loss. God was with me throughout all of it. He gave me one of the greatest gifts of my life right in the beginning of this season..the birth of my grandson in 2006. A complete surprise and delight to someone who had no brothers and no sons. His name means healer..he is living up to that even at 4 years old.
We have a God that stays close to us. He catches us when we fall and He fills us when we are empty. Our God is amazing!
“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy.”