Even under the best of circumstances..this is true. Many of us lean toward the world of “happily ever after.” We wish that everything would go smoothly and turn out just right. We want to avoid the hard moments..the challenging conversations..the boundaries..we wish we never had to disappoint..we love harmony..we don’t like saying no..we want everyone ( including us) to be happy.
None of these things are possible in authentic relationships. When we are our true selves we will disappoint..we will have to confront..we will need to say no. We can’t meet all the needs of those we love or please them continually. If we try we become co-dependent and unhealthy. We can’t wait to meet perfect people in order to go deep realtionally..because there are none. We are imperfect and so is everyone else. All we can do is dive into the messiness..realize that there is no way around it. We can be grateful for those relationships that are easy and pleasurable and for those that are challenging and difficult.
Our only secure place relationally is in the arms of God. He is always the same..always able to love us and care for us..He won’t surprise us with rejection or judgment. He never turns on us or runs from us. In fact.. He is the opposite. He knows our faults and flaws and accepts us exactly as we are. He makes it easy for us. He is our refuge when people are just too much..when life is overwhelming. He is our hiding place. He is with us!
“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.”