Please pray

I’ve never posted a prayer request on my blog.. but I feel compelled to ask you to pray for my Mom. She is 90..blind and in a wheelchair. She is Jewish and claimed to be an atheist until recently. I’m not sure where she is spiritually, but I know God is pursuing her. She lives in a residential facility with full-time caregivers..most are Filipino.

Her regular caregivers are on a trip to the Philippines and there are a couple new people. I met one of them yesterday.. he is a Filipino Pastor. God is good.. He sent three chaplains into my Mom’s life over the last 5 years and now this. Our family has prayed and shared with her over the years.. for me it has been 35 years and almost as long for my daughter. She started talking with my Mom when she was a very small child.  As my son-in-law said today..we are all waiting for her to come in..including her great grandkids.

She has outlived her sister, husband, brother-in-laws, sister-in laws, and even a nephew. God has kept her here for a reason. So.. please pray for her. God is after her. Before her time here is finished, He will have captured her heart.

Thank you!

“Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven.”

 

 

Hope

We can’t live without it..at least I can’t. Hope points us to a future that holds surprises and unexpected blessings. Hope renews our faith. We need to be hopeful people if we are going to make it through this life. God is the one who brings hope when we are desperate. He is the one who knows how much we need it and He provides.  I wonder how people who don’t look to Him do it. How can they have hope if they do not have their focus on God?

I suppose there are those who hope in themselves..in other people..in churches..in being good. None of these things work..at least not for long. We fail..people fail..churches fail..no one can be good all the time. Others hope in their finances..we know how that can turn out. Some hope in politics or isms..that never works either.

Our only hope is in the faithfulness of God. He is the same.. yesterday, today, and tomorrow and He will not forget us. Over and over He has proven Himself to me and I’m sure He is doing the same in your life. Keep your eyes on Him..keep in touch with Him and ask Him for what you need. He will do it!

“Have you never heard?
    Have you never understood?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
    the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
    No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
 He gives power to the weak
    and strength to the powerless.
Even youths will become weak and tired,
    and young men will fall in exhaustion.
 But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength.
    They will soar high on wings like eagles.
They will run and not grow weary.
    They will walk and not faint.”

May Roses

One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple.Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.…to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.

Give to the Lord the glory he deserves!
    Bring your offering and come into his presence.
Worship the Lord in all his holy splendor.

Hearing His Voice

Does God speak to us? Yes..He is always speaking and revealing new things to us. Learning to hear His voice and follow His leading has been the focus of my life for the last 35 years. What better way to live than to follow Him and receive all the things He has intended for our lives. The living God who created the universe has a unique path for each of us.

Do you doubt that? I believe we all do. One of the things that has helped me is to look back on my life. If I look carefully I can see the way one thing led to another. I can see how the pieces of my life fit together like an amazing puzzle. One piece by itself does not make sense.. but put them all together and you have a picture of God’s faithfulness.

Another practice that encourages me.. is to look around my home. In every room and on every wall are gifts from God. We purchased a few things, but most of it was given to us..God’s abundance is so visible. I am very visual and love beauty..God knows that ..we have views from every window in our condo. Nothing is an accident or coincidence.. it is all part of the story that God has written for my life.

I encourage you to begin to look for the places in your life where God is speaking to you..revealing His goodness. He wants you to know that you are the apple of His eye and that He loves you more than you can ever imagine. His arms are open wide.. longing to embrace you and fill you with everything you need to continue.

He is speaking.. listen.. it is the still small voice that only says wonderful things to you!

“See! I have not forgotten you..I have carved you on the palm of my hand.”

Another Mother’s Day

Can you believe it? Today is May 11th and Mother’s Day is just around the corner. This year I am celebrating it with my mom on Sunday and with my daughter on Monday. For the first time ever.. I have peace in my heart about this holiday. God has done some deep healing between my mother and I over the last few months. Our relationship has changed and I have changed.. she has changed too!

Keep in mind that my Mom is 90 and I am ..well.. I am a grandmother. It is never too late..all things are possible with God. After a lifetime of confusion, disappointment, anger, and sorrow..things are good between us. We can talk about things and share our hearts.. honestly and openly. We are very different, but in some ways we are similar. Her  physical deterioration and isolation seem to have done something deep inside her heart..God is reaching her..and He is reaching me in new ways.

Our mothers have a great role to play in our lives..some do it well and others do it poorly.. no one does it perfectly. Our mothers are human. They are learning and growing as their children grow up and it never stops. My own daughter has been a mother for almost 10 years and I see the way she is changing through the process of raising her children. She is a far better mother than I was. She is dedicated to her children and it is obvious they are thriving. I thank God for the way He redeems everything.

Happy Mother’s Day! May God bless you as you continue to seek Him.

“Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But with God everything is possible.”

Rejoice in the Lord

He is faithful to pursue us.. even in our darkest hour. He is our rescuer. His love seeks us out.. just waiting to pour the balm of Gilead on our wounds. His presence surrounds us..pouring itself over each and every empty space in our hearts. His life grows in us despite our unbelief and doubt. Miraculously He changes us into His image as we draw near.. with all of our flaws and brokenness. Our God..the one who is faithful in all things at all times. He takes my breath away.. surprising me with His goodness!

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!”

Living through grief..

The last two months have been incredibly difficult. Today I found myself reading up on grief again. I have a library of grief books..a collection I began 12 years ago when I was widowed and yet I am so immersed in grief that I fail to realize what is happening. That’s how it works..it is so intense..you feel as though you are going crazy.

My emotions are up and down. There are days when  I feel like I am normal and the next day I am crying, sleepless, and depressed. The sadness is overwhelming and the loneliness is unbearable. Grieving takes enormous energy..not the time to have insomnia..but that is my body’s response. Some people seem to sleep through their grief..but probably not most of us. Grief is emotional and physical..it is draining and unbearable at times.

So why doesn’t God do away with it? I don’t have the answer..but I know the grief process is part of life..that He allows it and encourages us to embrace it. For me..grief causes me to cling as tightly to Him as I can.. there is really nowhere else to go. How do you explain to family or friends a condition that you barely understand?

Right now I am grieving the loss of my family of origin.. my Dad (who died), my Mom who is 90  and could go at anytime..as well facing a lifetime of estrangement from my only sibling. It is incredibly difficult to let go of all the people who knew you as a child.. All of but one of my older relatives are gone and I am not very close to their remaining children. My past is passing away..

Part of me is dying with it. It is an opportunity for God to do something new in me and I am praying that I can grieve fully and deeply.. enabling Him to bring good fruit from this season of my life. If you are grieving, don’t hide it. We live in a culture where grief is rarely acknowledged..most people outlive their parents, but few books are written on this topic. I find that very strange. We deny the seriousness of the grieving seasons.. yet life is full of these times. Loss is an inevitable part of life in this fallen world.

Many people experience deep depression because they have failed to grieve their losses..it takes a toll on us. We also experience grief when we anticipate a death.. watching someone fade away physically or mentally. This is a surprise to some people..I have been in this state for 5 years with my Mom..no closure..only waiting and wondering. My hospice counselor calls it a marathon..the long good-bye.

All we can do is face the truth and ask God for courage..He is with us and He came to heal our broken hearts. It helps to remember.. He was one of us.

“You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy”